Clip of the Week

Due to the fact that I am an extremely busy and important person- also the fact that it was Eric's birthday on Saturday and I spent all night Thursday making burger cupcakes and maybe half the night Friday putting together a Bug-Out bag (the end is coming, people)- this next clip of the week will cover for last week and this week. And it can do so because it is just. that. AWESOME. You'll see; trust me. 

I've chosen a clip from the movie Hot Rod starring Andy Samberg. He once came to the paintball field we worked at, and of course, that was the day we weren't there. Yeah, life can be lame sometimes. 

Anyway, I think that this clip is hilarious and awkward and awesome all at the same time! 

In other news: You know that terrible B-book I wrote? Totally reached 130 downloads. I don't know whether or not I should be proud, or start to lose faith in humanity for its absurdly low literary standards. 

That's all for now! 

~Cheers :)

The Worst Book Ever :)

Guess who just published the worst book ever?! 
That's right, me! 
I know, I know, I'm 2 days ahead of my countdown, but hey, I didn't want to over-edit, you know? And a good thing, too, 'cause last night I totally forgot I still had to make a presentable cover for the damn thing and all that jazz, and I've also got a VERY busy weekend ahead of me! 
I will say, though, that I am very pleased with how this project turned out. I had a lot of fun with it and I think it'd be a great exercise in the future whenever writer's block strikes; just take 2 weeks off and write a B-book! 
Here's the link if anyone wants to check it out. It runs 12,000 words (more of a short story, really, but with chapters! How cool is that?) and is FREE on Smashwords! 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/343342

P.S. you might notice a different name on the cover... I've decided to create a second writing persona, one for my more intimate projects with serious work put into 'em and one for the B-books.

Theme Song of the Week

It's Wednesday! Glorious, rainy, overcast Wednesday! I will acknowledge the fact that I have been absent for several days, but I will not apologize for it, because I have been busy working on my B-Book Challenge! And I'm happy to say I'm ahead of schedule, which means I may even get a chance to do a little revising (if I feel like it). This is a B-Book, guys; it doesn't have to be polished. 
I missed last week's theme song because, as aforementioned, I was busy. Today, however, I find a few moments to share with you this song by Imagine Dragons: On Top of the World. 
Why am I on top of the world this week, you ask? For several reasons: 
1) I got a couch! Finally, it's been years... YEARS... since I had a real couch- and one of my very own, too! It's so fabulous! One more thing off the 'Buy When We Get Money' List. 
2) I got a job! Yep, sent in my resume and about two hours later, got a call, which led to an interview, which led to me getting a management position for a bookstore :D
3) I'm ahead of schedule on my B-Book! 
These may not seem like life-changing things, but not all great things are. Therefor, I'm happy to bask in my (somewhat small) accomplishments for now :) 
Without further ado, Imagine Dragons. 

First Day Bites the Dust!

I am happy to report that the first full day of the 14-Day B-Book Challenge was a success! I finished Chapter 1 and will complete Chapters 2 and probably 3 today :) Eric read the first chapter last night and there were moments where he was almost brought to tears (not because he's proud of my writing or anything; just cuz it's so freakin' hilarious)! Honestly, this is the best response I've ever gotten from him whenever I've sat him down and forced him to read my stuff. 

Anywho, I've got some errands to run but shall return to my challenge at approximately 10am. 

Yes, that is Gandalf the White on my coffee mug. And yes, Weemes, this is your zip-up. 

Cheers! 

My 14-Day Challenge

This past Thursday, I watched Sharknado on SyFy. For those of you who are unfamiliar, here's the trailer:

Egadz, just watching that minute of sheer awesomeness makes me want to relive the thrill all over again! 

Anyway, while watching Sharknado, I had a moment of catharsis during which I realized these two things: 

1) I love B-movies (though I've known that since my Hercules the Legendary Journeys days, this just reaffirmed it)

2) I want to star in a B-movie wherein I will do the Baywatch run in every scene whether or not it is deemed necessary or even appropriate 

But, after browsing through casting calls, I discovered that you kinda need an agent--even if you want to do only bad movies :( I was only heartbroken for half a day, though, because I then realized my newest dream: I am going to write a B-book. 

Think about it. There are tons of bad books out there. But I bet they were all written with the most noble of intentions. And I bet that whoever wrote them actually thought they were good. But I'm not going to do that. Though I plan to use proper grammar and punctuation, I also plan to concoct the perfect storm of outlandish plot, cliche and over-the-top characters, and of course, lots of violence. It will be a most despicable conglomeration of dim-witted puns and cheesy plot devices...

...and I'm going to write it all in two weeks. 

TWO WEEKS, people, and this gem will be published in ebook format on Smashwords for anyone's enjoyment. 

I'll keep you updated. The clock starts now. 

A Rant about Hair

Something that is imperative to my nature is that I like to rant. I'd almost label it as a hobby, but then I'd have to rant about labeling and we would veer totally off topic. Nope, today I've decided that I would like to rant about hair. But not just any hair. I'd like to rant about the wild, messy, tangled, unkempt mess often sported by the female protagonists of YA paranormal romance novels.
I'm currently reading The Trylle Series by Amanda Hocking(and enjoying it immensely, I might add, though it's not my typical grab)and I noticed how insistent the protagonist, Wendy, is about her hair being wild and untamed. After reading about this heinous problem in such books as Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick and The Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer, I'm beginning to think that this may be part of the YA-paranormal-romance-writing formula.So far, the formula stands as: 

1)Girl with messy hair doesn't fit in at school. 
2)Girl with messy hair hooks up with hot Bio partner (usually a new kid at school and probably a hundred years old even though he looks seventeen)who incessantly stares at her like he wants to eat her face.
3)Girl with messy hair discovers that hot sexy Bio partner is a mythical creature. 
4)Hot sexy Bio partner reveals to girl with messy hair that she either is also a mythical creature, or has the potential to become one.
5)After a battle of worlds, hot sexy Bio partner and girl with messy hair live happily ever after. 

Back to messy hair, now. I get it. I really do. The books are usually written in first person, which means the reader only sees what the female protagonist tells them. In my experience, the female protagonists/narrators of YA paranormal romance want to come off as flawed, in a sort of way, and the only aspect of their physical appearances they are willing to undermine is their hair. But they're not really undermining it. In making rude remarks about their hair and illustrating it to be such a tangled mess, they're amplifying their sexuality. No female protagonist of a YA paranormal romance will ever begin her story by saying, "Hi, I'm Jess. I have a drippy nose and an absent chin and yeah, I could stand to lose five or twenty pounds." 
They would never say that!!!
Instead, they choose the more sultry route, like, "My name is Jess. I have fair skin and wild, untamed hair. I don't really fit in at my new school. The boys all stare at me like I'm exotic or something, especially that dark, nameless, mysterious boy in my Bio class."
In this way, I think it's safe to say that our YA female protagonists may not always be the most reliable. Which leads me to wonder, what else might they be enhancing? 
I must admit, I am not sympathetic to these female protagonists with messy, unruly hair. Hair is something that can always be worked with, much easier and cheaper than a chin implant anyway. I mean, I frequently have messy hair, too, but it's not because I'm some sort of troll royalty or a vampire or a fallen angel; I just don't really give a damn. 
Rant Over. 

Cheers! 

Theme Song of the Week

Well, it's Wednesday again, which means my weekly video. This week's music video is "Waiting on the World to Change" by John Mayer. And for several reasons, too: 

1) I feel like I'm doing a lot of the "waiting" thing right now. Not that I'm not actively pursuing certain avenues. I'm looking into ebooks as a possible publishing route while still querying agents to see if somebody out there--anybody (though preferably with excellent credentials)--wants to publish a book about an anorexic girl (though we all know that's just one theme of the book, right?) Somebody will want her, someday, and believe me, when they do, there will be a post on here screaming cheery expletives like "F*** yeah!" and "Pure F***ing Awesomesauce!" while I eat cake and do cartwheels around my apartment. Ok, I lied. I can't do cartwheels.. but you get the idea.

2) I'm kinda stuck on John Mayer right now since I just went to his concert at Summerfest two weekends ago. He also has great hair in this video and I like the urban decay aura with the overcast skies, gas masks, and looming buildings.

That's about all I have to share for now. I'm thinking about posting the first chapter of Dream Catcher for anyone's enjoyment and hope to share some good news soon :) 

Cheers to F***ing Wednesday, people!